Grandmas Joke

My grandmother used to say in her sweet Irish Brogue “They’re all nuts, except for you and me.” Then after a pause she would add “ But I’m beginning to wonder about you.” Then she would laugh her head off.

Omitting the punch line, I must say, I think she was right. As I get older I realize more and more how everyone is crazy. Even the two people closest to me are without sanity.

BB is crazy.

She goes to Midnight screenings of movies about Vampires walking around in the daylight falling in love.

She watches and likes HGTV.

She thinks Lady Ga Ga is just OK.

She doesn’t sort the utensils out as she loads them in to the dishwasher even though it’s clearly the faster way to do it.

She only finds me funny when I’m not trying to be funny.

She’s getting more beautiful as she ages. That’s not only crazy, it’s also scary.

She works all day and then studies for her CPA exam through the night. After she cooks dinner. Also, after she puts Boy down for the night. Putting Boy down is probably the toughest part of her day.

She has seen me naked and never once has laughed.

She didn’t want or need an epidural.

She’s hardly ever on Facebook.

Let’s face it. She is clearly Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs!!!

Boy too.

He may be crazier than her.

He waits until I am three whole blocks away before he reminds me “Door open Daddy.” Now I have to turn the car around and go all the way home to close the front door. I’ve told him a million times to remind me sooner.

The other day at the park he orchestrated about five other kids to change the tires on a plastic Hippopotamus. He then pretended to drive them around in it. Now, who ever heard of tires on a hippopotamus?

He pretends to pull off my nose and eat it.

He wants me to race him. Yet, if I start to pull ahead he says, “Wait for me Daddy!” Then at randomly selected places he stops and announces himself as the winner of the race.

He actually has said “No MORE Lady Ga Ga Daddy!” He put his foot down.

Poor kid. There is no hope for him.

I guess it is like Grandma said. I guess everyone is crazy except for her and I.

Wait, she used to eat grass.

hmph