I’m funny! Beautiful Bride would disagree. I think that’s why I fell in love with her. Something about the way the sun caught her hair, as she was staring stone faced at me, after one of my particularly hilarious one-liners that said to me “This is the one!” As we get older, I take pride in the fact that she never has to worry about laugh lines with me. I feel sorry for all those other silly Brides out there whose faces will turn prune like from their supposed funny husbands.
Ryan is my chance. Ever since this amazing child came in to our lives I’ve seen my opportunity to create a sort of Comic Genius. Tiger Woods Dad started him off on Golf very early. The Serena Sisters Dad started them on Tennis pretty early. Here is my chance to mold a phenom. I don’t need him to go in to the field of comedy mind you. I’m thinking that his comic skills will aid him in whatever field he chooses. I picture him as President of these United States bringing about World Peace with a well-placed slip on a banana peel at a big Mideast summit. I picture him as a Heart Surgeon clearing blocked arteries by giving them the giggles with a devilishly clever pun.
I worried. Ryan wasn’t laughing. At first I tried to stay calm. He didn’t walk for the first 16 months and that never bothered me. I knew I wouldn’t be pushing him in his stroller to his High School Graduation. Somehow this was different though. One day we saw a man in a yellow coat scratching his head looking up at his cat in the tree. Without skipping a beat I did my spot on perfect Ming Ming from the “Wonder Pets” saying “This is Serious!” Crickets! The boy did not laugh. I was so concerned that it almost cut short my own laughing.
Finally we had a breakthrough. I dropped a breakfast bowl on my foot one morning and danced around the house in white-hot pain. Ryan laughed a laugh that made my heart soar and he begged me to do it again. I was so starved for laughs in my house that a bruised foot was not going to stop me from doing it again. I recreated the whole event before I could figure out how to drop the bowl without actually hurting my foot. I believe that bit of realism added to the comedy because he laughed even harder the second time. By the eighth time we were both crying. Ryan cried from laughter. Daddy cried from pain.
Physical comedy is the key. The boy has been learning a ton. I have been banging my head and elbow and heiny and groin to Ryan’s delight ever since. As a matter of fact, yesterday, I think I broke my pinky. I am honestly heading out to the Docs to get it checked out this morning. Wish me luck!