Beautiful Bride leaves for work at 8:00 am every weekday morning. Ryan and I line up for kisses. Ryan always goes first. Ryan takes an incorrigible amount of time and then informs me it is my turn. Just as I pucker, Ryan remembers he forgot to hug. I get pushed out of the way and Ryan hugs and squeezes BB. He always manages to give me at least one glance during this ritual. The glance reveals to me that this two and a half year old angel has no intention of sharing his Mother with the likes of me. By the time I am allowed to get me mine it’s too late. BB needs to get to work and can only spare a quick smooch and no hug. One morning I cracked and had to do something. I tried to tell her that this was the boys’ plan all along. “Who’s the child here?” she said with love in her eyes. She then stooped to give Ryan one more kiss and hug and off she went.
I called her on her cell immediately to explain that I am clearly not a child because I did not complain about the injustice that was done unto me. After all, I could have gotten a hug considering the extra hug and kiss the boy got. I got her voice mail and realized I am in a “Catch 22”. If I boast about keeping my mouth shut I will not be keeping my mouth shut. How will she know that I’m not a child if I don’t tell her about my mature refrain from complaint?
Then lightning struck! I kissed her voicemail and described the hug I gave the phone. I pretended that she got shortchanged and was robbed of the chance to be enveloped by my strong masculine arms. I spoke in my low sexy voice and told her that my hug will melt away the stresses she will face at work. I sang our song “Let me call you Sweetheart” and started to slow dance with the phone cradled in my arms. One last audible smooch and I hung up the phone. I was very pleased with my mature masculine ways and myself.
Ryan couldn’t quite understand what he had just witnessed. A look of sad confusion washed over him. I realized he had been watching his father dance, kiss and sing to his phone. He held his hand out and said, ”It’s ok Daddy”.
Every morning since Ryan has made sure that Daddy gets a hug and kiss from BB before she goes. So, I win!